Routine?!?! What on earth is that!

That's has how I have felt for the past couple of years. No routine. No schedule. No method to the maddness, just simply maddness! Its been driving me nutts! All the things I NEED to do have a sentence that usually follows it and sounds like this: "Someday!" or "When life slows down a little bit." or "When things aren't so crazy." And somehow (still can't figure out how LOL) those things I NEED to get done, DON'T! Imagine that? lol

So with everything else in life seeming to be struggling greatly I decided there is no more time for the "Someday!" or "When life slows down a little bit." or "When things aren't so crazy." excuses. Life is now and if I don't get a hold of things before we have children (someday) I will NEVER get a hold of things.

So the other day I sat down and put together daily schedule/routines for me personally as well as my house work, because embarassingly enough, my house is DISGUSTING! I swore it would never be like this, and it's been in this sad shape for the past 3, 4, maybe 5 months! Isn't that pathetic? So here is what my schedule/routines look like:
This is my daily schedule. I know it's kind of hard to see (sorry). If your really intrigued to what is on it, you can click on it to make it much bigger (big enough to read), same witht the one below. I figured there is probably no better way to start my day than with what is most important! So scriptures and prayers are first and then exercising. I kind of arranged my day with the most important things being first and then on down the list. I have made two copies of this and laminated them. I will have one in my bedroom and one in the kitchen.
This is my house duties list. Anything that is the dark maroon means it needs to be done on that day of the week. This way I'm only having to clean and take care of one room at a time and I'm not overwhelming myself. Then on Saturday I will do a deep clean of everything. I have made two copies of this as well and have on in my bedroom and one in the kitchen.

I hoping that with these two begining tools I will be able to make a "method" to the maddness, and no longer will it be just maddness! For my exercising section I am going to do a mix between walking, Pilates, and use of dum-bells. I am going to order in the next little while a manual treadmil (one with out a motor). I can get a brand new one with the electronic part on it that will tell me the aproximate distance I've walked, the speed, how long I've been walking, and aproximate calories burned, for $120 shipped. So I think it will be a wise investment so I don't have any excuse in the freezing cold winter NOT to exercise. I am also starting a food and drink diary. I'm buying a little notebook (small enough to fit in my back pocket) and I will carry it around with me all the time so I can keep track of what I am eating and how well I am doing on drinking fluids, particularly water. I think I'll be able to do it, WITH the help of Heavenly Father. I think most ventures in my life only become accomplished when I include him in them. Kind of like the business partner that will make the business a success....

6 Quirky Things About Me

6 Quirky Things About me

The rules are: List 6 quirks about yourself and then tag six people. Leave them a message on their blog letting them know they have been tagged( I may skip this little bit). (Since I however do not have 6 people I know that check my blog, I will choose not to tag anyone...)

1.) I am a music JUNKIE! I don't think I've really had any addictions in life (aside from when I used to bite my nails) but I am pretty certain I am addicted to music... it serves as my own personal therapist! Except I don't have the $100 price tag to go with it :).

2.) I am dying to learn how to play the cello! Next to the piano I find the cello to be one of the most amazing sounding instruments and my fingers ache with desire to learn how to play it!

3.)My eyes like to change colors. Depending upon my mood, my clothes, or simply my phycial state of health will cause them to change between Green, vibrant green, blue, and gray.

4.) My favorite thing to do is learn! I love picking a topic and then visiting the library to see what knowledge I can gain on the topic.

5.) I love elk meat better than any other meat out there, including beef! (Note I am not a huge eater of meats but I do love having a good elk steak every now and then! Delicious! Or anything traiditionally made with beef I prefer to make with elk).

6.) I enjoy hunting and target shooting with a gun or my bow. I am all about self-survival and like the idea of being capable to help provide for and/or protect my family (don't I sound like a true, deep in the woods redneck? LOL)

When life gives you lemons...

make lemonade!!!!! (However sometimes I feel like taking the lemons and squirting them in the eye of the person who gave them to me. However since sometimes it is myself that has produce the lemons I choose to not follow the above feeling.)

I truly am and optimist however sometimes my optimistic spirit feels more like a cat who just had a thousand gallons of water dumped on it resulting in a wet, angry, miserable, frustrated, cold, and vengeful CAT. As of late things have been going alright. God has continued to bless us with the simple neccesities of life as well as the occasional not-so-simple-but-wonderful things of life.

I can't complain too much because God has blessed us so much financially at a time that it seems like so many others are struggling greatly, however I feel that sometimes blessings, as mentioned above come with a price that we feel we would gladly trade, i.e. the financial blessing for other blessings.

In the past couple of weeks I again have been given "learning experiences" (most the time I prefer to call them trials, but not trying to be too much like the wet cat, I am trying to let my optimistic side prevail). We are pretty certain that again I have had another miscarriage in the past couple weeks. The blessing atleast in this one was that I was not readily anticipating it as I was with the previous pregnancy, because I wasn't sure if I was pregnant. In a train of events that would be oh so difficult to try and put into words, I have learned something from these miscarriages. Now this may sound odd to many but through much praying and striving for personal revelation, as well as some amazingly sad happenings I feel strongly that there is a reason for my miscarriages. Adam and I will be unable to have children until we are sealed in the temple. Someone who was helping me try to sort through the fog mentioned this to me "With the way the world is going, do you think your promised little babies are waiting for the protection of being sealed to you before they try and make the venture to earth and survive the last days?" I had never thought of that before. My more selfish side says I want a baby right now and that it is unfair I have to wait. But my more spiritual side can understand my babies wanting to wait. I understand all things happen in the Lord's time, but sometimes it just doesn't seem fast enough.

In other events we learned that Adam's left lung is really not doing so well at all. I am almost certain it is cancer but my stuborn husband refuses to hear anything about it. We have started him on herbal remedies to try help stop and decrease any possible growths that may be occuring, but it doesn't make any easier dealing with the idea of him possibly not being in my life. I received a priesthood blessing from my bishop weeks ago that promised me we would live a long, happy and prosperous life together, IF we lived righteously. However his habit of smoking has been almost impossible for him to quit, and it makes me so nervous about what the outcome may be if he doesn't quit soon! I try to remain positive and look at it as God's way of helping him quit so we can begin the babysteps of getting to the temple, but sometimes (being the stubborn and sometimes demanding person I can be) I want to make my husband quit right now and see things my way... since this will not happen I will continue to pray and hope that my husband can have the ability to overcome this awful habit and that his body will be able to heal from the damage...

O how I love camping!

So we went camping from Monday through Wednesday of this week and really was a ton of fun... We did it all in the tents and I must say aside from when it rains I like camping in a tent more than I like camping in a trailer... that is if I have a decent air mattress to sleep on... So following this are a ton of pictures from our adventure. We pulled in mid-afternoon on Monday and set up camp. Shortly after setting up it decided to rain (it had been threatening ALL day) so as dumb as it sounds we really had now where else to huddle under aside some HUGE pine trees that surrounded camp to keep dry. It was a lot of fun and it's also where we ended up cooking our tin foil dinners in the dutch ovens using bourquets... Any how with out further adou here are the pictures. The one above is a picture of the cut throat Adam caught on the second it day, he was delicious! (I love when he smiles :D)

This one is of me doing the FAKEST laugh in the entire world LOL... we were bored sitting around the camp fire and our friend Daniel had our camera... he's like "JoAnna pretend like you just heard the funniest, knee slapping joke you've heard ever!" So this picture was the result of my attempt... we all ended up laughing even harder after the fact.

This is our friend Daniel with his first catch on the first day... he was delicious too! Yumm I love eating fish that is seasoned and then cooked over the fire!

These two are our friends kids; Gwen and Gavin.... They are so much fun! They were having a fun time getting to brush their teeth and then spit in the bushes. Needless to say it was quite entertaining and humerous to watch.

This is Adam and Me on our four wheeler when we went for a ride! It was so much fun and the place we went to was super lucious and green and EVERYTHING was so alive!

This is Adam, me and Gavin on the wheeler, he ended up falling asleep in my arms towards the end of the drive. He's so cute!

This is Dan, Cass, and Gwen on their four wheeler. We had a lot of fun and had a sort of different version of a pine cone war through out the duration of the ride.

All in all it was a ton of fun! I love camping and being completly lost in the forest! It reminds me of the most simple and beautiful things in life! Plus its a such a great escape to just disappear and lose some of life's worries in the process!

Update 2

Again I think God sends us storms to teach us things, even though sometimes it feels like the storm might break us....

The first of June we realized that the foundation to our house was leaking and as a result we have had to tear out the entire living room in our basement and try to fix everything... It has been such a trial because everytime we seem to get a bunch of money together to pay off a debt something comes along and we have to put the money some where else. I am grateful we had the money (well most of it) that we needed and continue to need to redo everything in the basement. I guess it just helps emphasise or remind us of the importance of having money in savings... not that I think we really ever forgot, but to just reinforce the emphasis of having to have savings and the SUPER importance of it... here is a picture of the begining of the project and once it's done I will post some more....

Here is where the foundation was leaking into the basement... and thus the begining of the destruction of the basement... completion pictures to come late as we are still in the middle of re-doing it and also trying to figure out the wiring mess that is spread throughout the basement and house!

Update 1

I haven't been on here forever and in short terms life has been... well the only word that comes to mind is "trying." I am an optimist but sometimes I think God sends us storms to remind us... remind us to pray... to remember to be grateful... to be optimisitc... to be well just better!





For all those who didn't know, (because for a while there I had a blog about being pregnant) I lost the baby about June 16, I was 10 weeks along... It has been the most (not to sound dramatic) heartbreaking experience of my life. But it has made me so grateful for my dear family and friends who reached out to me. It is still one of the biggest struggles of my life and I am slowly and sometimes not so patiently waiting until I am pregnant again and in then end have my baby to hold in my arms. I don't think losing the baby would have been so hard but the fact it took us so long to get pregnant, and then once we were pregnant my doctor was fairly confident we could be having twins, and then to have all that amazing excitement and then to have it all gone in about a week and half's time, made it hurt more than I ever knew possible.

These were flowers that I received... All of them were complete surprises and in a really wierd way (I'm not materialist and don't expect gifts), but in a wierd way these flowers helped heal the first little bit of my loss... all the these beautiful flowers were from women dear to me in life who had once upon a time if not more than once lost one of their own babies, even one of them being a dear sister of mine. It still continues to be a trial but I know that God had a reason and that one day I'll get to see this beautiful baby that I haven't seen since before I came to this earth... I guess the beauty of the trial is it has made me have to find my beliefs about it all. My personal belief now is that a baby's heart beat is developed at 6 six weeks, and well if the baby has a heart beat then it is "the breath of life." I feel that at 10 weeks my baby had received the body (I can't bring myself to use the word "it" hear because I don't feel the baby is and it, and since I never knew the gender I'll settle with the term "they") they needed and that it was all they needed to do in this life...

All in all it has been a trial and sometimes I wish it would have never happened but I know that God has a beautiful plan, and one day I will get to hold in my arms a beautiful baby of mine and Adam's...

My New Bow...

So I am excited to announce that Adam bought me my first bow and arrows. I intend on hunting with it this fall. I am currently taking the archery class that will allow me to hunt with the bow and I am so excited to learn to shoot it, and be good at it. I thought I would post some pictures of it. So here they are.

It's a Diamond which is a line from Bowtech. It shoots really nice :).

So yes there is my bow and I am hoping and praying that I will be able to get a cow elk with it this fall. I love elk meat TONS more than beef, and it is easier to get an elk permit for bow hunting than it is to get an elk permit for rifle. Only time will tell. I think I will pick up on it pretty quick.

In other good news Adam and I also both got new bikes (I'll post pictures of them another day). I am so excited! We intend on doing a lot of trail riding this summer and even doing a camping trip on them :). Now summer just needs to get here and the snow stop comming.

I need some un-biased opinions... PLEASE HELP!

So in the midts of my wonderful life I have been fighting an awful battle on Adam's side of the family. Last fall I turned my sister-in-law Lydia (Adam's brother's wife) into Child Protective Services (CPS). From the time I came into the family she has been extremly physically and mentally abusive to their only child (daughter) Tayla. Lydia grabs Tayla by fist-fulls of hair and jerks her around, she beats her butt with any available objects, i.e. sticks, arrows, foot, etc. amongst several other forms of what she considers "appropriate discipline." She also calls Tayla a lot of awful names, including but not limited to: Bitch, cow, etc. Now let me inform you that Tayla just barely turned 6, two weeks ago. This has been going on most of her life. From a person who I know is not judgemental to any degree told me recently about a situation where Lydia brought Tayla into their deli and ordered food for herself and proceeded to eat it in front of Tayla. When Tayla cried that she was hungry and wanted some food to, Lydia proceeded to back hand her and tell her to "shut the hell up." So even after turning her into CPS she continues to abuse Tayla.
Well the turning point for me turning Lydia in to CPS came when I was informed by a couple of different people that at the campground where everyone camps during hunting season, Lydia bare-bottomed (pull pants and underwear clear down to atleast her knees) Tayla, and proceeded to beat her butt with a carbon arrow, over and over. All the while Tayla is screaming "Mom stop, you hurting my hand" (she kept putting her hand in front of her butt to try and protect it). Her beating her bottom like she did was because Tayla played in the creek after her mom told her not to. On top of all of this everyone person in the ENTIRE side of Adam's family has and had so much to say about how Lydia treats Tayla, and how she mothers her, etc. Everytime Lydia would call her something nasty or beat her, everyone who have something to say amongst themselve but never actually say anything to Lydia or do something about it.
Well in the midst of turning Lydia in, I told one person who I thought I could really trust about me turning Lydia. This person in turn told another person about what I did. This person turned out to be Lydia's best friend and told her all about how it was me who turned her in. Trying to make a long story short... EVERYONE in the ENTIRE FREAKING FAMILY has nothing to say to Lydia. Lydia went around confronting everyone on whether or not they thought I was right, they all coward back pretended like I was crazy and there was nothing wrong in the way she treats Tayla. Also when it all came out everyone was like "JoAnna, I can't believe you turned her in!" or "Why did you turn her in." or "I don't agree with you, but I'm not taking sides." Now the kicker to the whole situation is that everyone of the people who had something to say about how wrong I was for turning her in, had talked about it time and time again about wrong she is and how she needs help. Now to top it all of I've become everyone's black sheep. But they don't just come out and act like I am. They pretend to be all sweet to my face and then when I turn my back it becomes a "Lets trash on JoAnna" party.
When it all came out that it was me who turned Lydia in I wrote her and e-mail trying to explain my reasoning behind it and that I hoped that we could mend bridges, etc. In return I got a nasty e-mail telling me pretty much that I am the scum of the earth and I have no idea what I am talking about and how I am a liar and all this big line of crap.
Now comes the part where I need your opinion. I've tried letting it die from the day it all happened (last november is when she found and it all started) and I wrote her the e-mail to try and fix it. However, time and time again people in the family take it upon themselves to tell me quote on quote "You need to get over your shit and move on in life." Well the funny thing to that is I don't talk to anyone in th family about it, aside from my husband once in a while when something about it comes up. Also in the midst of all this happening all of our friends and family members say they don't care, etc. However, everyone treats me differently and acts as if though I am a threat to their children. I have been contemplating writing a family and friend wide letter to all those involved because I don't know of any other way to try and fix things. On top of that I found out that my dear sweet sister-in-law Lydia is going around town (still to this present day) to everyone making sure they know her side of the story and showing them the e-mail she wrote me, but not the one I wrote her. I wouldn't be concerned with this too much but it could affect my job where I work with disabled children and adults. All in all I am at a loss with the situation and trying to figure out what to do. If you want a very, honest, and accurate description of Lydia's personality just look up narcissism on google and read the signs and symptom section. I am not joking in any regard. I just want someone who isn't involve in it all to tell me what they think my best options are. If it were up to me and how I feel today I would just as soon drive over to Lydia's house and beat the heck out of her. I know this would do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! but it sure seems like it would make me feel a lot better. I really would appreciate honest opinions on the matter. Thanks.

The Life of Emma Smith

So yesterady I had the amazing opportunity to attend a stake Relief Society activity. It was all about the Prophet Joseph Smith's wife Emma. I just have to say WOW! I feel so ashamed for ever thinking negative of her. I used to judge her so harshly for leaving the church and allowing her children to do so as well. I can not believe how dumb I was about everything.

The way it was set up was there 5 women on the stage, all dressed accordling with the style of the 1800's. They started from the begining of Emma's life and went through to the end of Emma's life. I would most certainly have NOT been up to the task that God required of her.

She lost 5 children, had 8 pregnancies, watched her home be burglarized time and time again. She had to raise all of her children for the most part by herself. The times Joseph was in jail she was forced from her home and had to depend on God's love an protection to provide the food her and her children would need. She had to deal with the mobs and her husband constantly going into hiding. She had to constantly leave her home and possesions.

Then in the ultimate sacrifice she had to feed and house in her own home the men who would be responsible for her husbands death. Having to listen to the messenger come to deliver the news to the guests in her home that "the deed is done" and her husband was dead. She had to deal with the debt incurred by the church because it was all in Joseph's name. She was asked to hand over all of her papers, both church and personal, to the church because it was too hard to decifer what was personal and what was the church's. She chose not to and as a result kept the debt of the church ultimatley resulting in the loss of her home to pay for the debts.

All in all I can not imagine the pain, agony, and suffering her heart had to suffer so that we could be blessed with the church in our lives today. I am so grateful for her amazing strength and the amazing strength she was to our prophet Joseph Smith so he could peform the work of the Lord. I have severe remorse in my heart for ever thinking as harshly of her as I did.

The Blessings of Tuppeware and Organization!

For the past several weeks I have had to re-do a lot of things in life. A major one was re-evaluating Adam's and my diet. I thought this would be fairly easy, yet the more I tried to change our diet the less successful I became. So after living in our house for a year and a half I realized half of my problems was, there was little to zero oragnization in my cupboards or my counter tops. So I began the wonderful feat of trying to reorganize my kitchen cupboards and counter tops.

Well the harder I tried it seemed like I was just making a bigger mess instead of making it neater. So my dear husband and all of his wisdom asked me: "Why don't you just go buy some plastic containers and such? That way you wouldn't have so many odd and end things to try and make fit." So I took his advice and went and bought several, let me empahise SEVERAL plastic containers of varying sizes and began the transfortmation. I only spent about $40 in containers, which may seem like a lot but I would pay that price twice for the peace of mind and organization I have in my kitchen now.

Now I don't have any before pics but below are the after pics. And take my word on it, my cupboards were a combination of several odds and ends place together in no particular order, so if you wanted one thing you would have to pick a shelf and start looking. The other rule I made was that if item "A" that I was pulling out of my cupboard had been in my cupboard more than a year without being touched, I would give it away or throw it away. It was amazing how much junk was in those cupboards that I really didn't need. It also made me more aware about my grocery shopping trips and how useful (unuseful) they really were. So here are the wonderful after pics!


This cupboard is directly to the right of my stove. So I made it my spices, marinades and oil cupboard.
My counter top. I used to just have winco bags sitting on them with all of the dried fruit or fresh fruit in them. But then I bought the containers and it has been so nice. On top of that I finally got a rice cooker and I am hoping it will help make dinner easier to make.


This cupboard is the top half of my big cupboards with most my cans and dried goods in it.

To say the least I have organization in my cupboards and it has made it a lot is easier for me to want to cook dinner. It is still a lot of work getting use to not having the quick and easy options like Rice-A-Roni or any of the other quick and easy dinner options but I know we'll be healthier in the long run for it. Most the time it makes me sick to think of how much MSG and artifical crap we were stuffing into our diet, before it became mandatory that I cut it out. I really do feel lots better not eating any of that artificial junk and surprisingly I am spending less at the grocery store to shop healthy, than I was spending to by that kinda good, preservative filled junk that we ate before. I really think eating healthy is cheaper than not.

What A Week...

So this week has been filled with ALOT of things. It's crazy how we go along day by day doing the same things and then BAM all of a sudden something comes along and ruins our routine. This week has been kind of full of them.
I found out on Wednesday that I have Fibromyalgia. WAHOO! No not really. It's really a hard thing to accept but it really answers a lot of questions for me. I don't fill so insane or crazy anymore. I love my family dearly but, growing up my Dad and brothers would give me so much crap about being a "Whimp" and how I need to suck it up. My body has hurt the majority of my life, things that other people thought nothing of, felt like shoving daggers in my back, legs, or hips. It's a relief to know that it wasn't all in my head. I am not looking to use it as an excuse to not do things in life, but it does provide me with some sanity. It's going to be hard because there's no magical cure and there no quick fix. It's a good thing in a way that its causing me to have to be healthier than I am and to be more fit. I know it was a good thing before this all, but now its crucial. If I don't exercise and stay healthy it could be the being of an awfully painful life. I have to start keeping a food and drink journal and how I felt that day. I have to see what causes the flare ups, what makes things better. It's alot but I know I can do it, it will just take a while.
The other glich in my routine was hearing about a possible job opening for an office job thats coming available in March or April. I am really torn on whether or not to apply. I love the job I have but it's not a stable source of income and I love dearly the children and adults I work with. If I apply for this other job and get it I will be making 3 times more a year than I already am, and it comes with 401 K option and lots of other stuff. It's so hard because I feel so committed to the job I am at but at the same time I crave the stability and routine that the other one would supply me with. I am going to fast and pray about it and see what happens. I sure hope things work out like they are suppose to.
O well, other than all this life is good and I am truly grateful for my wonderful husband the amazing support he is to me through EVERYTHING. God does give us trials to make us better even if it takes forever to see what it did for us. I love life and living and look forward to what the future brings. Hope all is well with everyone else!

Caution

So this blog is going to be about a topic that some may find inapropriate, rude or out of line. This blog is NOT intended to hurt feelings or cause offense, it is purely my take on a topic that has bluntly and intrusively taken a toll on my family in the past year, as well as several years ago, as well as personally. Please don't take offense to reading this.


2007 in really shorts terms was a HELL of a year, and not in a good way. The awful beast that is Satan and his temptation took a devastating blow to our family. I am not going to name names or point fingers I am leaving it general. The awful plague that is molestation hit our family again. In the midst of it all I was brought to remember a pass that I had locked away in my lil closet in my head never to look at it again. Unfortunately I did look at them again and had to come to terms with things in my self. The pass that I thought I had forgotten was that of being molestated different times while growing up. None of it was by family members, but still the same not easy to deal with. Now several people have comments about this topic and several have opinions. This is mine. While discussing the topic with a family member of mine they said in short terms that I am going to be haunted by this the rest of my life, because only 2% of those molested ever really get over it. This really bothered me. At the time of our conversation I had already seen a counselor, discussed the issue with my husband, prayed about it and moved on. Now this might seem unrealistic, but I did. I am a better person for it happening to me and have a more open mind to the situation. In a sick way its been a blessing in my life. The whole 2% statistic really bothered me because, well, what was the atonement for? Wasn't the atonement for us to be forgiven, to forgive others, and for God to have the power heal us regardless of how deep the wound was? I know several people have been molested worse than I was and that some have had to walk roads that only appear in my worse nightmare, but still the same didn't God say that we could overcome ANYTHING with his help?
I don't look at the past for my actions in the now. I don't look at what happened to me as a reason to be mad at God. I don't think of any of it as an opportunity to hold a grudge. One of the people who molested me growing I feel awful for. I would take a hundred times what they did to me than to take what they had to deal with in their life. I forgive those who did things to me and move forward in life. This isn't to say that I turn a blind eye now and ignore the topic. Its just that I no longer let what happened to me be a burden in life. If what happened to me can be a blessing or a learning experience to just ONE person in my life, well it was all worth the billions of tears I cried, the medications I took to help me deal (when I thought that's what I needed), the irrational thoughts, and the strain it put on my marriage and other family relationships. I just think that regardless of what may have happened to any of us and how steep the mountain may appear or how impossible it may seem.... that God wouldn't let these things happen to us if he wasn't going to provide us a way to heal from them.

Frustrations...

Sorry this one wont be upbeat... I am using this as kind of like my journal so heres a bad day.

I am so frustrated. Lately all I can seem to do is make all of our friends mad at us. I'm so tired of the fake smiles and the hollow greetings. I just want to punch them in the face and tell them to quit pretending to be nice. I'm so annoyed that time and time again there are parties that Adam and I just are conveniently not invited to, because some how they just forgot! Which is quite ironic saying since Adam has been friends with them his whole life! I wish people would 1) grow up 2) get over their crap 3) quite lying! I've never been more annoyed or disgusted by how easily people can lie! Sorry, I was raised that you tell the truth REGARDLESS of what the consquence may be. I wish all these stupid women would put on their "big girl panties" and act like big girls. I hate drama. I hate the he said she said junk! I hate that I feel like any time I have a conversation with someone I need a tape recorder there, so when whoever I was talking to decides to twist what I had to say I can pull out the tape and say "YOUR A FREAKIN LIAR!"

I miss having real friends that love me, support me and are there for me when I need them. Lately it's been this constant Russian Roulette game of which friend is going to be mad at me next or what the next rumor is going to be about.

I am all about being the bigger person but after a while it gets old and I just want to act childish that once and be just as mean and nasty as they are. I know it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but some days it really seems like it would make me feel lots better.

O well, the world is filled with ridiculous people and I just pray that I can find the "magic patience potion" that will allow me to be surrounded by the liars, and the rude people but not be affected by them.

Life!

Well we were able to fix our furance! YYAAAAYYYY!!!! I am so grateful, and it only cost us about $135. I'll take that over having to replace it right now. However, due to its lovely age we will probably have to replace it in the near future. Hopefully in the summer time when we wont freeze to death with out. :)
Life is good. Despite everything and the frustrations that come along the way, I am really happy to say I love where I am and for the wonderful life God has blessed me with.
Adam and I have a phenomenal bishop! He's absolutely amazing. I am getting kind of excited because starting next week Adam and I will meet with the bishop and his wife for dinner once a week and we're going to kinda have a missionary discussion, but the bishop will also be going over the temple, what its about, and what it means. I am really excited! I am not sure Adam and I will get there any time soon but its nice to know that we'll be getting our feet wet for when we decide to go.
I love my ward more and more every week. I am the secretary in the relief society and its given me a great opportunity to get to know a lot of the people in my ward. Its nice to have friends outside of the family.
Well I'm done with my lunch and its back to work I go... but more later :)

O the frustrations of owning a house :(

So as sad and devastating as it is.... our furnace DIED!! Well actually the fan motor died, but our furnace is almost 30 years old and so we aren't even sure that we can find one to replace it. If we can replace just the motor we're looking at $180-$400 to replace it, however, if its the furnace to replace... well lets just say the thousands (like $4000+):(.
We haven't had our furnance since sometime Friday evening... so it's been 'lil electric heaters to keep the pipes from freezing but other than that... our house is kinda, well COLD! Due to it being the weekend we couldn't get a hold of anyone to help us and anyone we could get a hold of didn't have a clue on HOW to help us. So hopefully tomorrow will bring better news than what we had for the past couple days. I'm hoping we can find an answer quickly.
It seems that when we try our hardest to get our finances in shape and get out of debt everything we own tries to break. I wish some days I had a wand like Harry Potters and I could just shout "REPAIRO" every time anything broke. However, since I greatly lack in this ability I guess its just left to lots of praying and crossed fingers.
Well that is it for now... hopefully more later :)

Always up for something new...

So in Collette's letter she sent she said how nice it would be if all of us siblings got blogs so she could get a peek on how life is going. So I figured I would take the challenge, heaven knows I rarely use a journal anymore so this will kind of be mine.

Life has come so quickly, each time a month ends it makes me realize how fast life is going by. I have so much I am doing and it always seems that when I cross one thing off of my list of things to do another hundred fall under it. School is getting harder as the days go by. I am enjoying the challenge, but I greatly miss the freedom I had when I wasn't in it. I know the outcome will be worth it but, somedays its just tough.

Work is always fun and challenging. Somedays it seems that as the office manager I never get to the bottom of the things I need to do. But working with the kids makes it all worth while. If I ever doubt what I am doing or why I am where I am, the simple smile of one of my wonderful kids makes it all worth while. I am not talking about kids of my own but the wonderful children I work with that are disabled. God really does send them as a blessing not as a chore. If we learn to have patience they will teach you things and give you blessings you never knew you were capable of.

Adam and I stay busy and its crazy to think that we have been married over a year. It seems like yesterday that he walked in and swept me off my feet. He is so amazing to me and regardless of all the bumps and sometimes cliffs we've had to climb this year he still loves me and continues to stand beside me. God has been good to us, even though somedays it's hard to see it through all the fog.

Aside from everything I am grateful for all of my family (both my side and Adam's). Somedays it seems like it would be lots easier to pack up, move away, and never talk to anyone ever again, but I know that despite how long the storm may last God will always put a rainbow at the end if we wait it out for it.

Well homework is calling and I have lots of things to do but, I hope that I can do this on a regular basis....